Friday, January 14, 2011

Beneath The Ground - (Villanelle)

buried deep beneath the ground 
longing for the light of day
hoping that we’ll soon be found

strain to hear the slightest sound
knowing help is on the way
buried deep beneath the ground 

within this chamber we are bound 
frightened eyes that look away
hoping that we’ll soon be found

weakened timbers, so unsound
many years of slow decay
buried deep beneath the ground 

dead-end tunnels all around 
cast together we must stay
hoping that we’ll soon be found

silent darkness so profound
isolated we should pray
buried deep beneath the ground 
hoping that we’ll soon be found


12 comments:

  1. you know so much about poetry,
    glad to have you share with us.

    Happy Potluck.

    A++

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  2. Great piece - All I could think about was how close this piece was to the air around the Chilean miners....

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  3. Ah yes. I'm with Anthony (abthomas). The Chilean miners were the first I thought of. Well pictures in the well written poem. Nice work. Glad to have you join us for Poetry Potluck. Poem on ...

    JamieDedes

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  4. wonderful! it peeks my curiosity! i love that!

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  5. wow! what a triumph charlie.. here's mine! http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/frozen-fears/

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  6. Touching piece... I too went to thoughts of the Chilean miners. You have captured well the wait.

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  7. Right on the key
    This was a beautiful poem to read
    and it stays with you

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  8. You say it so well. It's meaning grew in our minds as we read. Those of us claustrophobics took a few very deep breaths!

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  9. Hi,
    Thanks for the information on poetry forum,
    I looked at the link, perfect resource...

    love your honesty,
    Will try to learn when I have free time.

    :)

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  10. Nicely done...why I like Villanelles. I still do not have the stressed unstressed down pat but even without it the rhymes just bring the cadence as well in my mind at least.

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  11. Your subject is a good one for a Villanelle. Reading your poem I get the sense of going back over the same thoughts. And that's what we do when we're in a tight spot like the Chilean miners were. Well done!

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  12. The poetic execution here is flawless. vb

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