buried deep beneath the ground
longing for the light of day
hoping that we’ll soon be found
strain to hear the slightest sound
knowing help is on the way
buried deep beneath the ground
within this chamber we are bound
frightened eyes that look away
hoping that we’ll soon be found
weakened timbers, so unsound
many years of slow decay
buried deep beneath the ground
dead-end tunnels all around
cast together we must stay
hoping that we’ll soon be found
silent darkness so profound
isolated we should pray
buried deep beneath the ground
hoping that we’ll soon be found
you know so much about poetry,
ReplyDeleteglad to have you share with us.
Happy Potluck.
A++
Great piece - All I could think about was how close this piece was to the air around the Chilean miners....
ReplyDeleteAh yes. I'm with Anthony (abthomas). The Chilean miners were the first I thought of. Well pictures in the well written poem. Nice work. Glad to have you join us for Poetry Potluck. Poem on ...
ReplyDeleteJamieDedes
wonderful! it peeks my curiosity! i love that!
ReplyDeletewow! what a triumph charlie.. here's mine! http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/frozen-fears/
ReplyDeleteTouching piece... I too went to thoughts of the Chilean miners. You have captured well the wait.
ReplyDeleteRight on the key
ReplyDeleteThis was a beautiful poem to read
and it stays with you
You say it so well. It's meaning grew in our minds as we read. Those of us claustrophobics took a few very deep breaths!
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the information on poetry forum,
I looked at the link, perfect resource...
love your honesty,
Will try to learn when I have free time.
:)
Nicely done...why I like Villanelles. I still do not have the stressed unstressed down pat but even without it the rhymes just bring the cadence as well in my mind at least.
ReplyDeleteYour subject is a good one for a Villanelle. Reading your poem I get the sense of going back over the same thoughts. And that's what we do when we're in a tight spot like the Chilean miners were. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThe poetic execution here is flawless. vb
ReplyDelete