we notice not the slow decay
of rotted wood or rusted steel
as manmade objects fade away
diminished slowly day by day
while over time the cracks reveal
we notice not the slow decay
the corners bend, the edges fray
these damages we can’t conceal
as manmade objects fade away
a coat of paint, a short delay
but soon that paint begins to peel
we notice not the slow decay
great monuments were built to stay
on solid ground with grand ideal
as manmade objects fade away
there’s nothing more that we can say
just act as if it’s no big deal
we notice not the slow decay
as manmade objects fade away
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ReplyDeleteExcept when acid rains do prey
ReplyDeletethen even granite cannot heal
and monuments once built to stay
slower still, start to decay
with man-made objects, fade away.
(Nothing is sacred from time!!)
Okay, so shoot me, for not resisting this urge to add my two cents! I really like this Charlie, good flow, no stretches or strains to reach your rhyming or meter. You have the art of writing a villanelle down to a science now. Nicely written!
nice, i love villanelles. it seems natural for you
ReplyDeletewonderful--I have never attempted a villanelle, but you make me want to try. :)
ReplyDeleteamazing...
ReplyDeleteCheers.
Wow. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I clicked your link to read your work. This is a most wonderful piece. I'm not well read or practised in the more formal strains of poetry.
ReplyDeleteI found the flow and rhythm so taking I read this several times. Your message too comes through strong. I'm left reminded that all things pass, nothing lasts. With most that is man made I think the impermanence is a good thing.
I enjoyed this immensely.
I love the smooth structure here and the theme is so important but yet few realize it, or rather simply acknowledge it. I am nominating this poem for the Thursday Poets Rally :) Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteDo you like sonnets as well and if so would you please offer your thoughts on comparing the two forms, sonnet and villanelle? I've never written a villanelle but I like the sonnet.
This is beautiful indeed a reminder of the tenuousness of life, the preciousness. Wonderful
ReplyDeleteI love your poem..your content is colorful! What is so unique about it I think is I leave it wondering, what remains? Nice communication!
ReplyDeleteThe alternating refrain in this piece really brings it together. Beautiful composition and flow, powerful point made. Great write ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteI personally think that old buildings with all their peeling walls and slow decadence are beauties in themselves to behold.It would be great if aging and the decadence that it brings with it can be viewed the same way.Lovely read.Yes, we do not notice the slow decay indeed.
ReplyDeleteIt's an interesting form. There's an old expression that form is freedom. I wonder if you agree.
ReplyDeleteGood topic. Good observations. Nice poem.