Friday, March 11, 2011

There’s a Pill For That

Can’t produce tears, take a pill.
Can’t get an erection, soon you will.
Having trouble breathing?
Want to stop sneezing?
Need to lose that fat?
There’s a pill for that.
Worried about choking?
Trying to quit smoking?
Having trouble speaking?
Is your bladder leaking?
Maybe acute halitosis?
Possibly osteoporosis?
Need help releasing an egg?
Do you have a restless leg?
Do you have chronic indigestion?
Seasonal allergy congestion?
Are you feeling much too shy?
Is your cholesterol way too high?
Do you suffer from aggression?
Have you been diagnosed with depression?
Have a condition you can’t mention?
Do you struggle with hypertension?
Are you having trouble seeing?
Do you have a problem peeing?
Maybe you’re a diabetic.
Maybe your problem is cosmetic.

(side effects may include; dry mouth, vomiting, uncontrollable diarrhea, spontaneous bleeding, headaches, dizziness, ringing in the ears, runny nose, drowsiness, trouble falling asleep, trouble waking up, changes in appetite, thoughts of suicide, strange or unusual dreams, certain sexual side effects, swelling of the breast, anal leakage, rash, itching, cramps, shortness of breath, temporary blindness, paralysis, changes in skin color, loss of hair, mood swings, constipation, decrease in semen, blurred vision, lapses in memory, trouble standing or sitting, sleepwalking, jaywalking, moonwalking and double talking)


  1. Okay, that's really funny! And too true!

  2. I can't listen to anymore of these dire warnings on pill ads,we have to turn the channel.When we get to four hour erection,whoever is running the clicker has failed!

  3. it...there probably is a pill for that...and can you believe some of the side effects that come with our cures...kills me (pun) to read them sometimes...

  4.'s funny I should come across this post. My wife was just saying a couple of nights back that we've become a society of pill poppers.

    Great write!

  5. So true, all of it!! Gotta love when the list of side affects is six times longer than what it is supposed to cure. This makes you laugh AND makes you think. I like this!!

  6. Brilliant the thing is Psychotropic drugs don't even work and the side-effects are often worse than the damn problem! Your a little sad try these drugs that will make you psychotically angry and suicidal!