despite how hard we work and toil
they can’t withstand neglected soil
tied up with string or wire or twine
the yearn for growth we can’t confine
twisted branches need to uncoil
grapes can not thrive on withered vine
despite how hard we work and toil
no longer can we make our wine
from grapes so plump, so red and royal
now only wilt and rot and spoil
are gathered from this crop of mine
grapes can not thrive on withered vine
You've managed to construct a traditional atmosphere to the thoughts within this traditional structure. I particularly like the unexpected rhyme "royal" near the end, refreshing after the reader is lulled by the rhyming scheme.
ReplyDeleteGrape vines are tricky sidewinders encroaching everywhere they can! Good rhymes!
ReplyDeletedivine words..
ReplyDeletethrive and live...
Thanks for sharing...
This is very good Charile. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteI just came back from a wine tasting and read your rondel-perfect! I, too, am beginning to learn about the different structured poems and am enjoying trying them out. I enjoyed yours very much!
ReplyDeletethank you for introducing me to a new genre of poetry - becca
ReplyDeleteliked the varying rhyme in your wonderfully versed poem, Charlie.. and a new form to try too... thank u..
ReplyDeleteHere's My Poetry For The Rally
wow! this to me is sophis.. thanks for coming by charlie..
ReplyDeletethe vine, so true. i have tried and tried my grape vines whither and die.
ReplyDeleteCheers, this is lovely. Well played.
ReplyDeletewow! great thoughts and words :)
ReplyDeleteWhy, Its not just about grapes! I viewed it as an allegory instead about growth in our everyday lives! Nice nice..
ReplyDeleteTakes lots of pruning to keep the vines healthy and producing. Same with people. Sometimes a little pruning is necessary to get quality growth.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your poem.
love the usage of words....excellent!!!!
ReplyDeleteBeauty.Great job.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this poem very much, it was well thought out and crafted. Great job.
ReplyDelete