The Good Old Days

it was a simpler time
we didn’t have cell phones
or the internet
we got our exercise
running from the bullies
who had to confront us face to face

we played outside
and breathed fresh air
then went back inside
to breathe second hand smoke
everybody smoked back then,
even the doctors who let us play with mercury

we had plenty of energy
from the dyed, sugary, breakfast cereals
with sweet surprises
that were “Magically Delicious”
and we drank Tang

moms liked doing dishes back then
because the dish washing liquid made their hands soft
they wore dresses and smiled
vacuum cleaners had just been invented
so women actually enjoyed housework

our school desks were made in the USA
from sturdy American hardwood
strong enough to hide under
in case the Communists
decided to drop an atomic bomb on us

we collected pennies
to feed the poor children
who were starving by the thousands
in Third World, under-developed countries
while in our First World, over-developed country
children starved alone, just one or two at a time

political correctness wasn’t popular yet
it was still okay to make fun of fat people
and the Blacks were just beginning to start trouble
so we put them on busses
and tried to mix them in with the rest of society

we were at war with the Soviet Union
but it was a “Cold War”
which meant that whatever country
won the race to get to the moon would win
and the other country had to disband
it wasn’t even close
we beat the Commies by over 238 thousand miles

it was a simpler time